Victims of circumtance or sluts by nature?

When does a girl have too many boyfriends? I was watching an episode of ‘sex and the city’ recently, yea, that ‘chick’ flick. Anyways, Carrie and the girls were debating on how many boyfriends a girl could have in a life time . I almost tripped over my chair when Miranda told Steve she’d had about 40 boyfriends. 40 boyfriends!!!!!!! gee, and i was feeling bad about my state, well, to be fair, the woman was 35 or thereabout at the time but still??? So i started thinking…when does a girl cross the line from being a victim of nature to being a pathetic slut? Its interesting to note that guys are never really bothered about the amount of girls they’ve dated or flings they’ve had over the years because obviously, the more girls you’ve had in a lifetime, the more of a dude you are to the outside world…..you kiddin me? Why shouldn’t it matter how many girls a guy has slept with or dated in his life time and its such a big deal if a girl’s got quite a number? In my view, guys can be as much sluts or victims of fate as we women….they’re human afterall, so all this male chauvinism and egotism is all a cover up because they are just as imperfect as we are.

As for me, I’m in my mid twenties and well…i cant really tell you how many guys I’ve dated because who knows, my prospective husband might be reading this and might judge me…but wait. There i go again, the main aim of writing this is to defy that natural insticnt to lie about how many guys you’ve been with for fear of being judged so if i tell a guy i’ve had over 4 boyfriends (mind u, it might be 5 not necessarily 10 or over), and thats minus a few unorthodox liasons if i might call them that…so does that make me a slut? When i was younger, I had this dream of my prince charming and in my naivete, I was seriously searching for him so when a guy showed up with most of those qualities, u know, the cute smile, caring nature, good looking etc etc (ladies u know the works), I simply fell hopelessly in love or infatuated if u may and there went my first few boyfriends. Anyways, at the end of the day, it never worked out for various reaons but I didn’t refrain from datng because of that…..i kept looking for him and kept an open mind and whatever and so there went my other boyfriends again. Right now, I’m on a dating break because, I mean, my dream was to marry the first guy i ever dated and here I am way past my target and still……no partner! so I had to step back, take a deep breath and find out why, and its helped a lot cos I’ve now come to the conclusion that I’ve been dating the wrong kinda guys, just because it feels good right now does not mean that its got the potential to last especially when one or two things are missing and you ignore those niggling doubts by thinking….oh you’re in love therefore, you can work anything out, yes it might work out, if you’re veeeeery lucky!

I know this might sound ridiculous but every woman dreams of and would rather marry the first guy in her life than have a string of failed relationships…its just the way we are and for some reason or the other, it hardly ever works out that way. So, while we’re not saying that it’s ok or absolutely normal for a girl to have a lot of boyfriends because it’s ofcourse very possible that she might be a slut, what we are saying is that when you do meet a lady who’s had say…..15 boyfriends, dont freak out……yes she’s had one too many (atleast, if ur African, thats way to many) but it could also be because she’s been looking for the right guy….which might very well be you…so get to know her, talk to her, but please dont cast her off immediately as a slut because of that, thats the height of unfairness because she wont necessarily judge you even though you’ve been with 30 women!

Contrary to popular belief, its NOT okay for a guy to date half of the girls on the planet….I mean it just goes to show you’ve got no self control and probably very low self esteem. However, Ladies, yes we’re looking for Mr right but, that shouldn’t be an excuse to date or have a fling with every guy that comes our way, no one wants to go where everyone’s been for God’s sake so pack it up and be on guard!

As for the appropriate number of boyfriends a girl could have in a life time without crossing the ‘slutty’ line, I’ll leave that to u to decide….5, 6, 7, 10,20…..its up to you but God no, please not 40 atleast! And I think there should be a limit for the guys as well afterall, whats the good for the goose is also good for the gander…and its soooooo not a man’s world….atleast not in my world.

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5 thoughts on “Victims of circumtance or sluts by nature?

  1. 40 ke?! thats more than pushing it..and im sure the one night stands were not included or to quote Chris Rock ‘all the miscellaneous d***’!:) wonder wat Samantha’s number is? it has never ceased to amuse me that guys who slept with evrything in skirts n trousers for that matter want to marry virgins..WTF?silly creatures..good luck to them is all i can say! well,i remember wishin that ex would be only bf too but i think that was due to youth(18yrs then) and the influence of FCS!! all in all i thank God im no more with him cos that would have been disastrous..well i think guys would hav an issue with the number of guys one dated if one slept with each of them..if its just a casual kind of dating i dont think any normal guy would care even if they were 10..but thats just my opinion anyway..there should be limits for guys too,i mean i wouldnt want a virgin but not a man-whore either..unfortunately society still deems such guys studs and role models to some even! Infact i dont think couples should have that ‘how many’ discussion..it really does nothing for a relationship and one person almost always lies to the other..

  2. Why so many nigerian girls is there for you,but then they tell after first date,that they have a husband/with no love (and children),why it is so difficult to tell to throught for someone,who is looking for something????

  3. what I can say about a girl which goes and gets drunk and sleeps with a random guy whom she met in the club, is it normal behaviour or not you might judge, but if guy who had less relationship has to suffer because of this not relationship are possible then

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