By the 30th September……

Assalamulaykum wa Rahmatullah Wabarakatu.* if you’re a christian, then dont even bother trying to read the arabic texts…you’re just gonna end up twisting your tongue…

My dear brothers and sisters,

I woke up a couple of days ago to the news that Ramadan, that holy month we all revere is upon us once again. Never mind dat I hadnt finished repaying the ones i missed last year, never mind that i was still busying painting the whole of London red and definitely never mind the fact that I still havent finished my dissertation. Certainly, for someone like myself……the news that ramadan is coming sent goose pimples down my spine. But trust yours truly, i don shake body recover pa pa pa (abi how man for do?).
I do regret not having replaced the days i missed last year but you know,when ramadan finishes….you just take it for granted that you’ve got a whole year to do it and surely within that year… must have been inspired to pay it back wont you?….well, for someone like moi….MBA!
I dont eat much o,but i dont like the notion of not being able to eat either. Infact, i can go for hours without eating as long as im busy doing something (constructive or not)…my mind would be off food but just tell me to fast…….wahala will start! Thats when I’ll realise that im feeling cold, I’ve got running nose (something i have all year round anyways) or that i just cannot do without breakfast all of a sudden…..kai….see saitan @ work! If i were to count days that i didnt eat till say….5 pm….i go don repay all my fasts, gba!

Anyways, i beg for Gods forgiveness o, and i’m hoping to do better this year. If i were to rate my ‘Muslimness’ (from fadekemi’s dictionary my friend) on a scale of 10, I’ld probably score myself 3……to be honest! So, lets not overflog this issue of one being religious or not…….i might not be muslim enough by any standards but I do believe very strongly in my faith, I no dey thief, i no dey steal, I no think bad thing towards my neighbour (that doesnt mean that i love u like myself either o) and while i might be mischievous….i’m really not a bad person am i? The koko now sha is that my aim for this year’s Ramadan is to go from a scale of 3/10 to atleast 6/10 (what? its small small now abi?). To achieve a scale of 6/10 therefore, I must have the following qualities by the 30th of this month……
1. Say my 5 daily prayers AT THE APPROPRIATE TIME…..currently, i do express every night, if you dont know what that means….go figure!
2. Start praying my Shafi and Witr again (hope i got the spelling right?…and i used 2 be very good at arabic o…serious!)….i stopped praying those a while back…. have to start again.
3. Read a verse of the Quran everyday..When i was 15, i remember i had a goal to finish the whole Quran before the end of ramadan….needless to say i didnt get past Baqorrah! so this year, im setting a more realistic goal…a little bit of the Quran is good for the soul atleast.
4. Try 2 wear a head scarf for @least 15 days this month……I used to cover my hair before o…..but dont ask me what happened cos i wont answer.
5. Pray my taraweeh this month….this aint gonna be easy as there arent many neighbourhood mosques in London….least of all where i live so im gonna have to really work hard on this one.
6. Try to do lots of Tahajud…..atleast 2 rakahs a day aint bad…..if not for the whole month…i should be able to for atleast 20 days (Insha Allah).
7. Try not to lie…..@ all!!! ok, its not like i lie everytime o….infact,y am i justifying myself to u guys……he/she who doesnt lie should cast the first stone!
8. Would have loved to say…i’ld like to dress more decent but all i have for clothes are jeans….trousers mainly…so maybe i’ll do lots of long tops but this might not really fly sha…..really, cos i hate skirts!
9. Try not to listen to KI NI BIG DEAL every night like i’ve been doing lately…..CLOSE 2 U by MO HITS will also have to go……aaaaarghh…this wont be easy. In short, have to reduce my music intake…kai
10. The most important 1 and possibly the most difficult is to keep off facebook O…..biko please…if u see me on facebook throughout this month for more that 2 hours each day…harass me!!! No facebook for more than 2 hours this month…u guys wouldnt believe how many hours i spend on this darn thing….oops…..thats another one…..
11. No swear words!

Ok, enuff…ah ah…..i don try, hopefully, by the 30th of this month…I’ld have achieved all these and be able to keep doing them for a long time (or not)…but I’ll just keep my fingers crossed sha. In the mean time……what would YOU have achieved by the 30th of September?

Ramadan Kareem.


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