Hope

Is it too late to wish you a happy new year?

I hope it isn’t. My Christmas tree is still up, although I’ve taken down the kitchen decorations (more because I couldn’t see much as the window was hidden than anything else). Besides, Zee (my daughter), loves the lights and decorations on the Christmas tree so while I figure out other methods of pacifying her when she gets in one of her moods, the tree stays.

I wrote a draft of my favourite moments in 2013 and my aspirations for this year but I never got to finish or post it as the last few days of 2013 went by in a blur. Come 2014, the kids and I spent the first few days being down with the flu, so we didn’t really get off to the sterling start we would have hoped for.

I’ve been catching up with some of my favourite blogs, and it’s been heartwarming to read some of their new year resolutions and aspirations. There’s one thing that resonates throughout the blogosphere and even in everyday life…..the message of hope. We’re all clinging to it, we feed off it, it’s what keeps us going and it’s become my newest best friend.

I stopped making resolutions about three years ago. I realised the only reason I made them every year was because, growing up in Nigeria, everyone made new year resolutions at the start of the year. I don’t know if they ever really had any intention keeping them or if, like me, they were only joining the bandwagon and keeping with the flow.

I’ve since decided on a different system that I’ve found really works for me. I focus on one thing, just one thing I feel is achievable for me during that year, either because I’ve been working towards it during the previous year or because I intend to devote all resources and time towards that goal or maybe, my life just depends on it.

I’ve found that this is easier, and more practical. It’s also the case that once I’ve achieved this goal, other things tend to fall into place so I usually end up achieving more than the one goal I focused on for the year.

This year, achieving my goal will require not only a lot of hard work from me, but also divine intervention. It will be so easy for me to fall back into my comfort zone and accept things the way they are but I’m going to try as much as possible to push myself to achieve my goal.

2013 was an amazing year. There were a few events that raised dark clouds over my sunny Island but the birth of my daughter trumps everything else so I’ll have to say, it was a beautiful year overall. So many things could have gone wrong last year, but God is ever faithful and even though I don’t think I’m worthy, He is still faithful.

If I were to pick a best moment in 2013, it would be the day we brought Zee home from the hospital. I’d had a straightforward birth so the midwives dispatched me back the next day.

I’m the kind of person who needs some time for things to sink in. In the thick of events, I’m always focused on the immediate end result that I suddenly have tunnel vision and all I see, breathe or hear is the end of the tunnel. The whole of my pregnancy was spent praying, living, for a healthy pregnancy and birth. Labour was pretty dramatic; that’s a story for another day. After pushing her out, the rest of what happened was a bit of a blur and it didn’t fully dawn on me that she was finally here, safe and sound……..until we brought her home.

I set the car seat down, my son was staying at our neighbours and the hubby was bringing stuff out from the car so we had a few seconds to ourselves.

I just starred at her.

This little person who’d been in my tummy for over 9 months. We’d had our chats and had our struggles and I’d imagined in a thousand ways, how she would look and here she was, right in front of me.

Zee's first day home

Zee’s first day home

It was ‘A‘ moment that everything else stood still. She was here, she was home and I could finally breathe after 10 months.

I would of course go on to fuss about everything, everyday, from how many layers of clothes was good enough to the right position to carry her but that was ok, she was here.

I look forward to having such a  ‘moment’ in 2014. I have no idea what will bring it on or where I’ll be, but I’m looking forward to it nonetheless. In the meantime, me and hope have things to do.

See you and the dreams you’ve  hopefully achieved at the end of 2014.

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