Anyone can cheat

I’ve been watching a lot of cheaters lately, thanks to my mum. She makes me watch the most ridiculous programmes, I tell you.
She seems to have a knack for finding channels I never even knew existed on my sky box. I’m beginning to think my TV addiction might be genetic.

In case you’re wondering what this programme is all about, it’s an American show where spouses/partners hire private investigators to find out if their love interest has ‘other’ interests. Once infidelity has been established, we are often treated to a passionate, sometimes violent and aggressive confrontation with the said love rat.
I used to detest the programme years ago when I first saw it in Nigeria purely because I felt it was trash TV.
After watching it for the last few weeks, I still think it’s trashy but actually quite enlightening.
I’ve been doing the rounds on some of my favourite blogs and I’ve noticed the recurring theme of love and relationships in the blogosphere, not surprisingly as it’s Valentine’s day today.
I’ve read some great posts today celebrating love and companionship and there’s no denying that love is in the air.
As I’m not the most emotionally eloquent person, I was wondering what or indeed if there was any value in me writing something in honour of the season since there’s so much out there already and for some weird reason, cheaters came to my head.

After watching several episodes and using my personal experience, I’ve come to the conclusion that everyone is a potential cheat. I know it’s a blanket statement but I feel what seperates people who cheat from people who don’t is obviously discipline. You could cite the fear of God and religious reasons too but even religious and God fearing people cheat so it all boils down to the individual and discipline.

People who cheat will always find an excuse to cheat, no matter how stupid or opportunistic.
The most common one, especially with the women is “You’re never home”. Of course he isn’t, he’s probably busy working his ass off to keep a roof over your head! If he’s never home and you’re not happy about it, tell him. If things don’t change, leave!

I’ve also learnt that men will lie to the death about cheating unless they are confronted with irrefutable evidence. Even then they may still deny being unfateful, like the guy who was shown a tape of himself kissing another woman, he had the cheek to insist it was just a friendly kiss…yeah right. ..With your hands on her bumm and all..please.
As you can probably tell by now, I really hate cheating. I’ve been on the receiving end of it in past relationships and it’s the one thing I can’t stand. I can forgive almost anything else but this.
When you’re the sort of person who gives wholeheartedly in a relationship, finding out that your partner isn’t a 100% devoted to you can be a hard pill to swallow.
I just feel its selfish to lie and deceive someone knowing fully well the consequences of your actions should they find out. It’s not a fair deal.
If this theory of mine is true, however, that everyone could potentially cheat. It means that even I am at risk of being a cheat. This makes me quite nervous but hopefully if I were faced with such temptation, self discipline will prevail and if not then Holy Ghost fire must surely be deployed.
I’ve read about relationships, marriages lasting 30, 40 years and I think it’s incredible to be able to share your life with someone for so long without parting ways. My parents are divorced so you can sort of understand my paranoia.
These relationships didn’t survive by magic and their recipe for success might not work in your own relationship or marriage so I wonder if we’re all leaving it to chance/fate since we don’t really have all the answers.
No marriage or relationship is guaranteed to last by default.
The successful ones in my opinion aren’t just down to luck and fate. They are the ones who found their secret recipe, unique to them and worked damn hard together at perfecting day in, day out.

I have no idea why this topic came to me today of all days but I just want to say to you whether you’re single, in a relationship or married; if you ever find love, work hard at keeping it alive.
The flames won’t fan themselves, at least not for decades.

What’s the one thing you can’t condone in a relationship?


One thought on “Anyone can cheat

  1. Interesting observation. I think there are different kinds of cheats- serial cheats, accidental cheats, occasional cheats, etc, maybe we shouldn’t put them in the same bag? Some of the marriages that have survived, have survived in spite of a cheating partner. I hate cheating and beating too. But if an erring partner is willing to seek redemption, hope is around the corner, in my view.

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